It was a late, humid Pennsylvania night. I walked down the city street which led to my home. In the distance, I heard the thump-thump of bass beats, resounding loudly from tire-sized speakers. The streetlights, fashioned like historic lanterns, illuminated the sidewalk as I paced home. As I approached my house, a man mirrored my quick steps from the opposite direction. The closer he got, the clearer it became he was walking toward me.
His voice broke the rhythm of the distant bass music. “Hey man. Hold on one second,” he stated strongly.
I nodded my head in his direction, but sidestepped him, keeping my walk in-gear. It was late, my home was just around the corner, and I was in no mood for a streetside conversation. I hoped my head nod and quickened pace would convey my intent. It usually did the trick. But not that night. Not for this guy. I heard him circle and begin following me. His first foray to stop me did not work, but his second stopped me immediately, causing the gravel beneath my shoes to skid as I put on the brakes.
“You ignoring me is exactly what you people do,” he shared. “Don’t walk past me just because I’m black.”
His comments instantly ratcheted up the conversational intensity. I spun around and explained that skin color had nothing to do with my disinterest in a sidewalk soirée. It had everything to do with my fatigue and my longing to be home. Even still, I was on the defensive, knowing I had been less polite than I ought to be.
Ignoring my defense, he launched into his story: He had come to the city to visit his son. He came by bicycle, but it had been confiscated by the police. He had exhausted other transportation options and needed to get home to take care of his other kids. His only option was the last-chance bus which left the station in 30 minutes. The cost of the fare? $16.
Without asking too many questions, I pulled out my wallet and thumbed through my cash till I found a crisp $20 bill. I handed it to him, wished him well, and continued home to finish my journey: Mission accomplished.
(video expounding on these questions from my friends at Urban Entry)
As it turns out, this was the first of many times I would run into this same guy on the street. He always used the same attention-grabbing lines and he relied on the same stories to solicit funding for his train ticket. In subsequent encounters, I let him know that he had already used his story with me, but that did not stop him from finding other passersby who would guiltily foot his fictitious bill. Every time I watched an unsuspecting pedestrian be accosted by this routine, my sheepishness swelled. My response had been wrong in every way. Let me expound on the ways:
- I dismissed his humanity: When our paths crossed, I avoided eye contact, did not ask for his name and pretended I didn’t hear him. In his book, Under the Overpass, a memoir of his volitional decision to spend a year living with the homeless on the streets, Mike Yankoski articulated a simple starting point for interacting with panhandlers and homeless people. “Looking people in the eyes can restore the humanity in homeless people.”
- I gave cash: “Giving cash to someone in need is the least helpful and most temporary solution, and should only be a last resort,” said Andy Bales, director at Union Rescue Mission, in a recent article in Christianity Today. Handing out cash to someone on the street or out the car window is almost always a bad idea. It undermines the work of local ministries and city programs. It enables recipients to feed destructive habits like drugs and alcohol. And, as Andy articulates, those truly in desperate need are very rarely the folks you see asking for money on the streets.
- I made a rash decision: I allowed an emotional story, personal guilt, and my own hastiness to cloud my judgment. Had I talked with him for more than a minute, I would have found the holes in his story. If I hadn’t been in a hurry, I could have shared that I support the local shelter and could have given him directions so that he could have a place to rest his head for the night. Simply taking more time would have defused the tension in the situation.
Oh man, what a sensitive subject. And I think this is an awesome way of addressing habitual, ongoing giving problems that just end up disabling people instead of enabling them. The very essence of what HOPE is all about.
In our family, however, we try to keep some designated money to give out as we see needs, especially in the city. Ideally, this takes on the form of inviting the person asking for money into Prince St Cafe for a cup of coffee, or the McDonalds for a breakfast and offering to pay.
But there’s other times where I do give out cash, usually only 2-3 bucks. They might spend it on alcohol, they might spend it on drugs – but maybe they won’t. I have actually come to a conclusion that the blessing of handing someone some money with a smile on my face and hope in my eyes trumps the ambiguity (and arguably the bad stewardship) of knowing where the money will be spent. Habitual giving is one thing – but the giving of a few dollars here and there is just one way of many to spread joy in our cities.
Jeremy, Your response trumps mine in so many ways. It’s relational. It’s affirming that the recipient is also created in the image of God. It goes beyond the guilt-satiating response I had that evening. From listening to guys like Andy Bales and my friends leading urban ministries in Denver, they always tell me to never give cash, but I think a small amount given as you described could be appropriate.
Yeah, but it’s totally a balancing act. If I constantly gave out the 2-3 bucks to the same person, I’m feeding a bad habit. In fact, it could be viewed as being anti-relational if I refuse to never dive in deeper or even just tell them No. So my response is only complementing your thoughts, not opposing it. I think we as Christians need to have an understanding that different times will require different methods, and that only the Spirit can help us decide which is best.
I seriously sat down at my computer and read this blog one minute after handing out cash to a young couple who came into my office looking for help. Working at the church, I meet a lot of people who need help, far more than I can give them in 30 minutes. We get all kinds of requests from gas to heating oil to rent to a hotel room. There are all kinds of people too; transient and local, tight pinch or long standing problems. Everyone has a story.
We have policies written on what we can and cannot give (ie cash). In some cases, it’s convenient to haul out our assistance policy and say, “Sorry, we don’t do that. It’s policy.” It removes the subjective discernment and sometimes extensive detective work. Other times, it keep me from doing what I think is the right and helpful thing.
For several years now I’ve had this feeling where I can’t help but think God is calling so much more out of us than what we’re already giving/doing. When I open the Bible, I read his words and think, “He actually meant what he said. It’s not just a metaphor or a principle.” It may not apply to everything, but here are two stories/thoughts to enhance the discussion. More contributions to this same topic can be found at http://bretburchard.blogspot.com/2010/08/responding-to-homeless.html (Sorry for the shameless plug, Chris. I’ve linked to this post as well.)
1) In downtown Kansas City I was approached by a man recently released from prison and starting a new job who needed $6 to by appropriate work boots from the Salvation Army. The S.A. was a long walk, but certainly a doable walk. I gave him $10 and wished him well. In hindsight I wish I had walked with him and actually purchased the boots for him. I could have heard more of his story, maybe shared mine as well and assured him of boots for work. I stopped short because a friend was supposed to meet me for lunch. Ironically, my “friend” stood me up and I wandered downtown by myself for several hours.
This is where I think God is calling us to more. We all make the decision to stay on our schedule, play it safe and not break the budget. Maybe I should have walked to the S.A. with him and invited him to lunch with me and my friend. In Chris’s situation maybe we should offer a ride in our own car. Yes, it’s radical, but Jesus didn’t call us to be rational by the world’s standards. Why are we more concerned about our energy levels, our safety and our acceptance amongst friends than we are the Kingdom?
2) Pastor Steve DeNeff at College Wesleyan Church in Marion, Ind., made this observation: Beggars learn to ask for not what they need, but what they think they can get. What if we gave what he asks for and then find out what he needs? Traditionally, the conversation ends after the transaction, right? After you give him $2 for the bus ride, you’re in control of the conversation. Stop him right there. “Wait, sir. I gave you what you asked for, now what is it that you need?” (Check out the interaction between the blind man and Jesus in Mark 10.)
Wow, what a great post and comments. I really struggle with what to do in these situations. Usually I give someone a couple bucks or whatever food I have on hand. Once I gave $20, like you, and then knew I had been “had,” which bugged me all day. One time I sacrificed my time and missed a train to take a woman to McDonalds and let her buy whatever she wanted. That was the one and only time I knew I had done the right thing. But I still feel like doing something is a better response than nothing. I will forever remember all the times when I was a kid that my dad gave money to panhandlers. He often talked with them and asked how he could help. As a kid this made a HUGE impression on me and I know it has made me a more generous, empathetic person to have his example. I really like the last comment here about giving what a person asks for and then asking what the person really needs. And your point about looking people in the eye. It reminds me that however we’re treating the person on the street, we’re treating Jesus.
It’s interesting to read all the responses and see that compassion, conversation and carefulness in your handout (I was looking for another “c”) will get you far regardless of the situation. I just finished the book “When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor….and Yourself” and it also underlines the fact that cash is rarely what they NEED. It is a challenge in our society to help by giving relationship, and I struggle to go out of my way (even in my safe town) when I’m a female with 3 kids in tow. We have been building relationships with the refugee families 3 blocks away who attend our school, but it is so much more of a challenge to do so with panhandlers.